Friday, May 29, 2015

Stereotypical vs Smart Bride

Dear,
 To-be-brides,

Welcome to the most beautiful phase of your life. The bling, the love, the excitment...feels like a dream. As you gear up for your big day, maybe weeks or months from now, here are a few stereotypes I avoided (and tips I followed) that I'd like to share with you.

The big #1: THE 1 YEAR/6 MONTHS PRE BRIDAL BEAUTY TREATMENTS IN EXPENSIVE SALONS IS A MUST.
To start with, my face has two eyes, one nose, one mouth and a galaxy of freckles. But for the most of them, freckles doesn't always add to beauty and bridal beauty? You better be kidding! And hence flowed in the numerous advices from 'concerned well wishers' asking me to get rid of them as soon as the date was confirmed, as if these were not freckles but some clinging ex boyfriends who wouldn't just get rid of me! Well, to start with, I am in love with my freckles and I knew a treatment wouldn't cost me anything less than 20k per session. Worth it? NO. NEVER! Bridal treatments include anything from chemical peeling to microdermabrasion to using fillers and to some extend, botox. The treatments are done session wise and take a span of sometimes weeks or months. Writing with one hand on my chest- do not just go with the flow. Do not underestimate the wonders of home treatments. Instead of splurging on these hoping for the best, get on that old traditional road of good food and good home made masks (you know- besan and curd and sandalwood and turmeric and the like). Start a couple of months ahead for best results. Works best for the glowing flawless version of you (even better than cosmetic treatments which in the long run causes a lot of skin related probs, haven't I told you before?!)


#2: BOUTIQUE ORDERED BRIDAL TROUSSEAU IS THE BEST.
No it isn't. Boutiques are for customized specialization, like Persian rubies bordered with Hyderabadi pearls on malmal silk lahenga from Lahore. Is that why you need to go to a designer? Go ahead. You deserve it. But then if you mean to go to one because you are blank and have no idea what you want...well then my dear princess in despair, open your mind and eyes. Visit those online sites (I saw some great ones in craftsvilla.com) and explore all the shops! Am almost 80% sure, you will find something that you want. It happened to me. I saw one of my bridal trousseau (that I wore in one of the wedding functions, Jurroon, for whoever was a part of my wedding) in one of the unexpected shops in a part of my state where people wouldn't normally look for one, especially while wedding shopping! Well, I did. Designer trousseau is a trend, as well as a good idea, provided you have a particular design or pattern in your mind. If not, don't just go for the heck of it, just because everyone else does! Oh, also I'd love to mention, I saved thousands comparing to the amount I paid for the one I wore in my wedding reception. And I'd like to assume everyone loved my look as equally, going by their expressions!


#3: HIRING PHOTOGRAPHERS AND MAKEUP ARTISTS (read expensive) IS UNNECESSARY EXPENDITURE.
Hell noooooooo!!! When you decide to get married, the next thing that comes to your mind is budget. The budget primarily includes jewellery, food, gifts for guests and for the members of the other team and then decoration (it's primary for people with good aesthetic sense, trust me!). What mostly people overlook is a good makeup artist and a good photographer team. In my case, though I was a little careful in not spending carelessly, I was very sure the only thing I'd spend on is a stylist and a photographer and I must tell you- am soooo glad I did. How you look on your wedding day and how all the moments would be captured, will remain with you for the rest of your life. Today, when I go through my digital wedding album, there's a smile on my face and I will always smile when I go through it all over, for the rest of my life :)


#4: HIRE A WEDDING PLANNER
 A wedding planner primarily takes care of everything- your clothes to your decoration to what'll be in the menu to taking care of guests' stay and entertainment. Do you really need one? Think! When I was in my initial stage of wedding preparations, I was doing the usual research of decorators and chefs and stylists. I sat with them and told them what I want, I must say, I was impressed by their service. And hiring these professionals individually costed me a lot less than I would have, if I'd have hired a planner (Planner's fees, commission?!!) But then again, I understand, a planner is always the answer for a working woman, no doubt, but then just imagine...it's your wedding and you decide what you want. You are in direct contact with all these professionals so you know where and how you are spending your money!


#5:THE  'I WILL DO IT TOMORROW' ATTITUDE!
My mom hates me for that. Meet the cook? Tomorrow. Call up and book sound guy? Tomorrow. Write down the agenda? Later. I regret that now. Keeping things for the last minute made me end up  on almost compromising for the flowers, jewellery and sound system for my wedding. Well, almost!Maintaining a diary is the first step to take while preparing for the big day. And this should be done a year ahead, if that's possible, And jot down ideas, plans, meetings as soon as you come across it. Keep a separate section for guest list (my mom maintained a whole register for guest list, writing them area and pin code wise!). Write down all contacts you collect of all possible professionals. Write down ideas (that chandbali you saw in the Vogue magazine?), write down songs' list for your sangeet, cocktail. Just write down everything. Don't keep it for the last moment, you will never remember. Plus imagine going through it all five years from now :)


#6: FOLLOWING A CRASH DIET RIGHT BEFORE THE WEDDING
Do yourself a favour- EAT! In the quest to look slender and pretty as a bride, we take extreme steps to crash diet (which includes skipping food) hoping we'll lose the flab. We never will. The way to lose weight, the right way, will take you a minimum span of six months (for 10 kgs) and includes a combination of cardio (weights and free hand exercises for toning or yoga) and good food. Any other way, will not give you the glow, get sagging skin in the long run and curse you with bloating and double the weight gain when you give up on it. Weeks before the wedding, I stacked on lots of nuts and juices and green tea. It helped me not only health wise but also prevented all those bridezilla attacks!

 End of the day, as we gear up to be and feel our best, we mustn't forget, it's all about a sacred bonding, with that one person, sharing a laugh or two with family, dancing and tossing to your big day with your closest friends and being grateful to God for having so many loved ones by you, just for you. Enjoy the attention, enjoy the love. These are what you will take with you as memories when you start a new phase of your life. 

(P.S. Suggestions here are generalized, and it's absolutely your right to have a different approach to your wedding, after all, it's your big day!)

Love.
On the day of my Jurroon



The Big Day!